Thursday 24-09-2020 - 15:00

Studying at university and college brings its own set of responsibilities: attending lectures, studying at home as well as working and having a social life. For a number of students at UHI they have one big responsibility added to that list: full-time parents!

How do they do it? We put questions to two of our student parent HISA officers, Julie Riviere (Vice President of Activities and Welfare) and Cally Mair (HISA Depute Shetland), to get an insight into their unique experience of student life:

 

Firstly, tell us about yourself?

Julie: I come from Reunion, a French Island in the Indian Ocean, and I moved to the UK 4 years ago. I have two sons that go to primary school. As they were becoming more independent, I decided that it was about time for me to have a project. In 2019, I enrolled in NC Childhood Practice at Inverness College UHI. 

Cally: I’m 27 years old and a single mam. My son is 4 years old. I study part time and would love to do my degree in counselling once it becomes available at my local college. I’m also a makeup artist and social care worker.

 

What do you study and what is your role within HISA?

Julie: I study Person-Centred Counselling and Psychotherapy (year 1). I am the HISA Vice President of Activities & Welfare for Inverness College, and I oversee the development of our clubs and societies, and I am in charge of creating activities and events to improve the students' experience. 

Cally: This year I will study an access course as the course I was going to study is not running this year. Just now I’m working for HISA as a Depute at Shetland.

 

What were the main factors as a parent you had to think about before committing yourself to studying? 

Julie: Over the last three years I had already applied to other courses. Some classes were during the evening and having a partner working on shifts, two young children and no close family to rely on I struggled to commit to any studying and timetable. Who would pick the kids up at school? How do I do during the school holidays? Can I pay for holiday clubs, and what if the timetable does not match mine? Where will I find the time to study? And so on.

Cally: The hours for childcare. Financially affording fuel and having a work/study/parent life balance!

 

What does a regular day look like for you?

Julie: Last year my regular day would involve getting my children to their school's breakfast club, attending class and work placement, collecting my children before 6pm and all the typical day to day life until I could have time to study in the evening/night. It was hectic! This year as I study and work from home, I have the time to get my children to school then I am ready to start my day online and live on coffee (too many coffees!).

Cally: On a regular day, I wake up with my son and we make breakfast and eat together. We read books and talk then get dressed and ready to get out the door on time for nursery for 9am. I then come home and work - normally I would be going into the college but not now due to Covid-19.

I collect my son at 1pm and then we come home and have lunch together, before we head off to the beach or playpark and meet friends. Sometimes I’ll have a work call or training. I’ll then get any shopping before we have tea together and then tidy up, bit of TV, games or reading. After that it’s bedtime and I do a workout sometimes or enjoy a bath. I then sit on social media, emails or call a friend before going to bed about 11pm.

 

What are the unique challenges of being a student parent?

Julie: Student parent working and studying from home = do not forget that your microphone can be switched on when you are online and that your children can suddenly pop into your room! More seriously, separating family time from any other commitment and sticking to a schedule can be difficult as sometimes everything seems to merge, time, space, priorities, stress.

Being mindful of what impacts what is essential. Stress from my studies can meddle my patience with my children which is not fair on them, but also having a difficult family morning before class can be destabilising and impacts my attention. Being aware of your triggers can make such a difference and saves you time and energy! 

Cally: Financially challenging really and tiredness. Being a full-time single parent can sometimes be a lot on top of study and work.

 

How do you balance your studies and work as well as being a parent? 

Julie: Last year it was not balanced at all. I had my nose to the grindstone and did not take the time to step back and reflect on situations. 2020 onwards I’m moving, walking, running and cycling as anything that makes me move helps me find my balance and clear my mind. It stops me from overthinking or drowning myself in a cup of tea. 

Cally: I do my best!!

 

How has 2020 impacted you as a student parent? 

Julie: Lots of questioning on my priorities and way of living…

Cally: It’s affected my mental heath a lot. Being a single mam in lockdown has been lonely and challenging as a parent. My 4-year-old son doesn’t understand it and has wanted friends and company everyday so it’s been hard. I managed some study but was feeling rather depressed with no motivation for study. 

 

Are you part of any support networks at UHI?

Julie: I keep an eye on the Student Support Inverness UHI social media page, lots of constructive advice and online events. 

There is also lots of online group on Facebook to link with peers, like the University of the Highlands and Islands Student Group. Clubs and societies are a good starting point to help you connecting with other students while enjoying sports, literature, drama, cycling, hillwalking, archaeology.

 

What’s the best advice you could give to a student parent about to start studying?

Julie: Get yourself a good network of trustworthy friends, exchange "chores" between yourselves.

Do not overestimate the benefit of sleep; commit to some me-time whenever you can, even if it's just 10 minutes before your children arrive from school/nursery and write it down in your calendar to keep you accountable for it!

When things get complicated, do not stay alone. Ask for help and reach out to support available to you (Skill Zone, Student support team, peer support group etc).

You will doubt and challenge your decision but keep calm and study anyway!!

 

Cally: Seek childcare and see what financial support is available.

Set study/parent times aside.

Speak to your college support/lecturer if you’re struggling and they may pass you onto relevant people.

Think long term vision and try and turn the challenges into lessons and drive.

 Be kind to yourself as being a parent is a full-time job with no pay but we know it’s the best job! Wouldn’t change it!

 

If you are a student parent and need any advice or support then please get in touch with us by emailing hisa@uhi.ac.uk or on social media @TeamHISA