Monday 27-11-2023 - 09:00

"Unveiling the Harsh Realities of Gender-Based Violence: A Personal Look into its Profound Impact on Survivors" – William Campbell, Your Students’ Association President

- Any names mentioned in this are not their real names and solely made for the purpose of the article and to keep these individuals private.

Summary: In my close circle, I've witnessed the profound and enduring impact of gender-based violence (GBV). Whether experienced directly or indirectly, individuals grapple with the aftermath of emotionally abusive or violent relationships, with repercussions that linger for years. The damage inflicted goes beyond surface wounds, affecting trust and causing a disconnection from life. Through the stories of friends like Heather, who endured GBV, and Georgia, whose upbringing was marred by abuse, it becomes evident that the effects persist into adulthood, influencing relationships and emotional well-being. The article emphasizes the importance of supporting survivors by believing them, listening without judgment, using empathetic language, and providing ongoing support. Particularly for men, taking a stand against GBV and actively supporting survivors is crucial in fostering a collective effort to eradicate this pervasive issue.

Witnessing the impact of gender-based violence on those close to me has been an incredibly challenging experience. I've seen individuals, whether directly or indirectly, grapple with the aftermath of emotionally abusive or violent relationships. The repercussions extend far beyond the duration of the events, lingering for years afterward. The damage inflicted reaches beyond the surface, affecting trust in friendships and leading to a profound disconnection from life. As a friend, observing this struggle is an exceptionally difficult and heart-wrenching ordeal.

I distinctly recall a conversation with my friend Heather about six months after she emerged from a relationship marked by gender-based violence (GBV), although at that point, I was only partially aware of the extent of her ordeal. Heather expressed a desire to share the complete story of her traumatic experiences, yet hesitated. It took another year before she felt comfortable revealing the full extent of what transpired. Heather remains exceptionally private about these events, confiding only in those she deeply trusts. Since then, she has refrained from dating, and despite her attempts, she finds it challenging to navigate the prospect of relationships.

I've witnessed individuals indirectly grappling with gender-based violence (GBV) through their upbringing. My friend Georgia, for instance, had a tumultuous childhood marked by her father's abuse toward her mother. While they managed to escape the situation, it came at a considerable cost. Georgia, at a pivotal part of her developmental years, underwent disorienting moves and court battles at the tender age of 13—challenges no adolescent should endure. Even as an adult, she continues to grapple with trust issues and struggles to articulate her emotions, often internalizing them until they overflow uncontrollably. Despite undergoing therapy and receiving support to confront these emotional struggles, it prompts us to reflect on what more can be done to assist individuals like Georgia in overcoming the enduring impacts of GBV.

The guidelines I have used for supporting someone who is or has experienced gender-based violence (GBV) are:

Believe them: Acknowledging and expressing belief in a survivor is crucial in establishing trust.

Listen attentively: In a society often unprepared for the weight of such stories, the simple act of listening without judgment can be immensely powerful. It may encourage survivors to find the courage to share more about their experiences.

Use empathetic language: Employ phrases that are clear, simple, and non-pressuring. Offer statements like "I am here for you" or "You can tell me as much or as little as you want."

Follow up: After someone shares their experience, understand that each victim's needs vary. Be available to provide both physical and emotional support, as your presence can make a significant difference.

But perhaps the most impactful action, especially for men, is to:

Speak out against GBV and support survivors: Actively challenge and condemn any acts of GBV. Support women who have endured such experiences. By encouraging more men to stand against GBV, we increase the likelihood of putting an end to this pervasive issue.

 

If you have faced GBV or need advice please contact your local student support/ guidance team or for out of college support please contact http://sdafmh.org.uk/ (Scotland’s Domestic Abuse, stalking and Harassment helpline) – 08000271234 or text/WhatsApp on 07401288595